Greetings, Abby
Ever since high school, I have had a friend who has been a member of my social circle. She has unjustifiably grown more hostile toward all of us over the years. We don’t know how to deal with the fact that her husband is currently dying.
Because she is so hateful and negative, she has abandoned all of us. She doesn’t want anything to do with us, despite the decades of fun and memories we shared. How do we respond to her husband’s passing? It’s all in her head when she claims that we are all fake. PERPLEXED IN OHIO
DEAR PERPLEXED:
For what length of time has this woman been acting negatively? She may have changed for a cause. It is unlikely that her husband will recover from his illness. She is focusing all of her resources on him if she truly loves him and feels any obligation to him.
It would be best if your longtime pals took the initiative to handle this. Express your concern to her. Don’t isolate her any more than she has secluded herself, and offer to help however she will permit. I can understand why she could have claimed to believe you were fake if you haven’t done that.
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Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It offers helpful guidance for everyone, from teenagers to elders. Send your name, postal address, and $8 (in US dollars) by cheque or money order to Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447 to place your order. (The price includes shipping and handling.)
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